Cars 'n Stuff

Well, it seems that I am soon to be in possession of a new-to-me car. How this came about is rather curious. My parents were looking for a car for me and found one that they wanted for themselves. So, they called me up and offered me the Toyota they had bought several months ago from their church's minister. The Toyota cost about half what the car my parents wanted did, and there is only a few years and few thousand miles difference. I'm going for it, but I feel a little used. I've been stressing out about this whole car situation, scanning the ads, thinking I might have to take out a loan, and oh, now we'll let you buy a car that's been sitting in the driveway all that time. Now, my parents were very clear that I could take the more expensive one, but they also know how much I hate working at Kohl's. That's the 'rentals for you.

I broke down and decided to try Netflix. There is no decent video store within walking distance, and I'm thinking specifically of the Blockbuster in the mall where I do my grocery shopping. As long as I'm making about $35 a week at Kohl's, I need something to do with my time. First up: Henry and June. I suppose I'll have to review it once I watch it for those of you, like me, have been living in a cultural cave lately.

I spent all my money at Half Price Books again this week. Hopefully, I've got some winners. Between interlibrary loan, Netflix, and HPB, I should have a stimulating next few weeks.

One of you expressed distress that I had been indiscreet and "named names," to use a little bit McCarthy-era terminology. My sincere apologies. I will find a new handle for you.

Trying to Block Scalito's Way

Here we go folks, my latest salvo in the culture wars:

Dear Senator Obama,

I am writing you concerning Judge Alito's nomination. First, a little bit about me. I am not quite thirty. While I was raised in Indiana, I have lived in Chicago all of my adult life and consider Chicago my home. Barring any unseen events, I will continue to live in Chicago for the forseeable future. Since my first voting experience in preschool (yes, you read that right, preschool), I have voted Democrat. This includes all of the elections of national and state importance since 1996. I enthusiastically voted for you in 2004. I did this not only because of my political background and desire to see more diversity in Congress, but because I was aware of your public views on women's rights.

That is what brings me to write this letter. Judge Alito has crowed about his opposition to a woman's right to an abortion and the right of a woman and her physician to make the best decisions they can about her health and welfare with the facts at hand. There are many arguments for a woman's right to choose what to do with her own body, and I am sure your inbox is full of them, written by people with far more grasp of the facts and eloquence than me. My basic argument is that if I would ever find myself in need of an abortion, I should to be able to get a legal one without being hassled or intimidated by anyone, especially the state. In the interest of fairness, I think every woman should have this same right. Judge Alito does not agree with me and only made a secret of his feelings once the Supreme Court nomination process began.

I have a feeling you can see where this is going. I want you to vote against Alito's confirmation and use your famous ability for consensus building and bipartisanship to see that as many senators as needed vote against it as well. I know this letter is a little late in coming, but perhaps you and the Democratic leadership can find some delaying tactics until the needed votes can be procured.

I'm not much for politics, I can't even play office politics with any aplomb. However, I have faith that you can effect change on the floor and the nation and stop what increasingly looks like a runaway train headed for a wreck that this nomination has become. I know you have many issues before you, so thank you for your time and attention.

Sincerely, etc.

A Little Sooner Than Expected: Zombie and Librarians with Bugs Up Their Butts the Size of Emus

I know I said I'd post when I got news on the job front, but I felt the need to post without that justification.

First, Zombie called me. For once, I wasn't sitting on top of my phone, so it went to voicemail. He left a somewhat scattered message: he was sorry he stood me up, something had come up, it probably would again, he was sorry, he didn't want to waste my time, I deserved better, etc., etc. I suppose this counts as closure.

Second of all, the PubLib listserv I belong to has been pretty amusing as of late. Someone posted the American Library Association (ALA) resolution opposing Samuel Alito's confirmation. A conservative posted that this was the reason he didn't belong to ALA anymore, how'd they never get his money again, nyah, nyah, nyah. Other objections came in that this didn't have anything to do with libraries, or only peripherally so. Now, the proponents of the resolution came out in force as well: this had everything to do with privacy rights and other librarian concerns, if you didn't belong to ALA or vote for its councillors, you didn't have the right to complain, etc. My personal opinion? I oppose the Alito nomination for reasons anyone who knows me can imagine, but I'm not sure the ALA resolution carries much weight since the issues don't seem to directly affect libraries and giving voice to too many peripheral issues tends to dilute the efficacy of a pronouncement from a professional organization. Now I understand that most librarians are women and Alito's opnions affect us about as deeply as possible, but I have trouble seeing how politicians are going to make the connection between the ALA and vital issues.

That said, I'm all for pushy broads like me telling Congressmen (and let's be honest, they're almost all men) that they will lose political capital and votes if they confirm this sow's ear to the Supreme Court. Fortunately, I live in a district represented by Democrats who aren't particularly interested in "bipartisanship" on this issue. Neither are most Democrats in federal office, but the Republicans have the votes. So, what to do? We've feared that something like this would happen, and here it is. Now, I'm guilty of sitting on my ass on this one, but I have little time and less money. It seems to me that those of you living in Republican states should make it clear where your money and votes will be going in the elections in November. Maybe I should join a phone bank. I'll check into it. Some of you are experienced at community organizing, get off your asses!

Well, I wasn't expecting to do any rabble-rousing tonight, but there you go. I feel good.

Thoughts on Various Subjects

I'm a little scattered, but I will try to be concise and hit all my marks.

First of all, I've got to crow about the lineup in my CD player. It happened pretty much by accident; I didn't know it was going to be this good. I've got the Ramones' self-titled album, Counting Crows' August and Everything After, Born Not to Run (a compilation of songs in the spirit of NPR's Car Talk), the soundtrack to Do It Acapella, and the crowning glory: American Idiot by Green Day. If you think I have poor taste or should be listening to Wagner instead, too damn bad. Some of the albums I got for Christmas, some I got used, but I didn't have a really good idea of what was on them til I listened to them. Now I rock out every night.

I finished my quote book last night. I've been keeping a book of bon mots since I was in high school, and I finally came to the last page last night after finishing copying a Bukowski poem. It's held up pretty well for 13 years of use. So, with as little sentimentality as I could manage, I bought a new, sturdier, much more expensive notebook this afternoon to continue the good work.

Speaking of Bukowski, one of his fans (and close lifestyle adherent) still hasn't called to explain why he stood me up. I broke down and called him Tuesday and got his voicemail. I guess he just wants me to leave him alone. I can do that. I just need to exorcise a few demons by writing something, which I will hopefully get to tomorrow.

The car search continues. I'm trying to figure out how much nagging to do. Clearly, my efforts in the past were insufficient. However, if I nag my dad in the frequency and tenor of my mother, he'll tune me out the way he does her. Apparently, two calls a day may be the key. One call in the morning to let him know of anything new in the ads, and one at night to see if he's followed up on them. I think I'd do better if I went down and did it myself. The make, model, price, and mileage are listed in the ad, it's an automatic, it's a sedan, it was made after 1990, sold American. Now, Dad has a bunch of other questions he wants to ask, but I'm not as picky on that part. Also, conventional wisdom says car sellers will try to cheat me because I'm young and female. Maybe so, but I've ratcheted up my price range just so I can find something, anything, soon. I'll be working at Kohl's til I'm eligible for Social Security, but I don't know what else to do. Stage managers need cars. People who work in the suburbs need cars. If I ever hope to be a stage manager again or work at a suburban library or theater, I'm going to need a car. Oh, this is all too frustrating for words.

I got a good lead on an exercise club tonight at Weight Watchers. It's close by and costs only $50 a month. For Chicago, that's pretty good. I don't know if that includes the classes that I'd like to take, but I need something to get me out of this slump. I made what I thought what I thought were pretty good menu changes this week and only lost 0.2 pounds. Not the results I hoped for. Anyway, I wonder if I can get my parents to pony up for it. I don't know if I have the money for an exercise club with the lack of hours at Kohl's, but I need to do it. I'll check out this place tomorrow afternoon after work.

Well, that's about it. I'm all typed out. I probably won't check in for a few days unless I have a breakthrough on the job front.

Post-Dinner Post

While my aunt was in the ladies' room, I had it out with my mother about the car. She was somewhat alarmed that I wasn't behaving like a doormat on the issue. She told me not to yell at her. I pointed out that I hadn't raised my voice (and I hadn't, I was very restrained, especially for me). She said something about all the negativity she was getting from me. Mom told me Dad was very busy, but that she'd work on him. We'll see. As my therapist says, actions speak louder than words, and my parents have two weeks.

The rest of my week has been nondescript, except for a job interview, and I look forward to more of the same. The job interview was for a part-time reference librarian gig in the suburbs. I probably won't be able to take it, as some of the hours overlap with my library job. Well, it was good experience anyway. Now, I just need to make it to work on time this week. I wasn't on time much of any time last week. Maybe something good will happen this week. I think one of the reasons that January and February are so dreary is that there is nothing to look forward to. Christmas is done, my birthday (which I'm not so keen on celebrating anyway) is months away, and Spring is also a long ways away. I can just hope something good happens this week. Like getting called for (and acing) an interview for a full-time library job.

I'm Off to Meet My Mother...

I've got to be crazy. I'm planning to give my ultimatum to my mother about the car situation: she and my father have two weeks to get me a car. After that, I'm going to get an estimate for the emissions repairs. If I determine that the repairs are not worth the money, I will go to a dealer, get financing, and buy my own damn car. I'm sick of this. Of course, I get to present this little scenario in front of my aunt, and I'd prefer not to drag her into this. Sometimes her presence is the only thing that prevents true savagery between me and my parents. On the other hand, I don't think I'm being unreasonable. My parents have known about the emissions repair situation since at least November. They said they would help me. They have effectively blown me off. Time for them to face facts.
Stay tuned for my after-dinner post.

Humdrum Sunday

Right now, I'm supposed to be at the "Holiday Party" being held by Kohl's. Why am I not there? Because the more I thought about it, the more I realized that there are very, very few few people there I would want to talk to, let alone spend an evening with. And what an evening it was to be: no alcohol, rationed food, lame music, and stingy door prizes. And to bring a guest? Ten dollars. Makes me want to check the library job boards right now. At least, I didn't have to close today, when I would be hard-pressed to come up with an excuse not to go. Now, all I have to say is that I had a conflict: a date with my computer.

The customers, at least, seem to have regained their sanity and some of their good humor. I only had one throw a tantrum because I asked to see her I.D., but at least she didn't blame me for the policy. I had one pair of scumbags argue with me about the price of a somewhat expensive item, and when they were proved right, demand that they get it for free. They made a veiled threat to call a manager until I explained that it wasn't company policy to hand out door prizes to the most obnoxious (naturally, I didn't put it quite like that), and I think their grasp of English as their second language failed them. But that was the worst of it on a surprisingly busy day.

I went and saw a good movie today: Mrs. Henderson Presents. It's not stand-up-and-cheer great, but it was a pleasant waste of time. It has Judi Dench and Bob Hoskins in it, need I say more? While it occasionally betrays its small technical budget, it does seem to get an excellent bang for its buck. Like I said, Judi Dench and Bob Hoskins. Doing mostly comedy. With a good American joke. Go see it.

Finally, Target: Christmas Wars

After my last post, I went and recovered what receipts I could and wrote this e-mail. Yeah, I'm channeling some anger from other areas in my life, but I really hate not being able to shop at Target because of a few self-righteous blowhards. Comment away!


January 13, 2006

Dear Sir or Madam,

I wrote to you via this medium before on the third of November of this past year concerning my deep disappointment in your policy of coddling pharmacists who refuse to supply emergency contraception. I wrote at that time that I would patronize neither your brick-and-mortar nor your online stores until the matter was resolved to my satisfaction. To my knowledge, this has not occurred.

In order to put my money where my mouth was, I bought all my Christmas necessities elsewhere. I spent over a hundred dollars at Amazon.com on books and CDs. I spent around twenty dollars on gifts for a “Dear Santa” program where I adopted a child for the holidays. I spent $11.70 on token gifts for my coworkers and $20.03 on a “Secret Santa” exchange. Those were all purchased at Kohl’s. I spent $30.78 at The Container Store on gift wrap and accessories, and another $12.69 at Meijer on the same.

I realize I probably could have gotten all of this paraphernalia at Target and for less money. However, as you allow misogynists to refuse to provide legal and FDA-approved medication to women with valid prescriptions, I drove all over the Chicago area to get my Christmas shopping done. The stress I may have induced in myself is nothing compared to the shame I would feel at betraying my fellow women and my own word for a greasy buck.

I have years of experience in retail, and I am well aware of how large corporations work. In your response to my original missive, you tried to hide behind the fig leaf of “diversity,” a flimsy excuse at best. If corporate America were truly interested in such a notion, there would be far more women and persons of color in boardrooms and other upper-management positions. It would seem to me that in pursuit of the bottom line, you would be trying to use every opportunity the customer gave you to separate them from their money. Instead, you allow your pharmacists to believe that they can choose for women what to do with their own bodies.

Also, the form response I received whined that Target was being “singled out” by Planned Parenthood. On the contrary, Planned Parenthood has also cited Wal-Mart, among others, for their anti-woman policies. I don’t expect any better from Wal-Mart, with its shoddy merchandise and its other socially abysmal policies, and I don’t shop there. I expected far more from Target, which has struggled mightily to attract a younger, more affluent clientele. We, the young and educated, expect better from the companies we patronize, and we will have it. Hopefully, you will soon allow women to fill whatever legitimate prescription they have with no lecture, no attitude, and no waiting. When that happens, I will gladly resume buying from you.

Sincerely, etc.

Not Target. Yet.

Well, I got stood up. Again. By the same guy. I should just tear his name out of my Rolodex and never think of him again. Of course, this competes with the idea of putting him in a coma (not a healthy thought for an aspiring pacifist) or at least wishing I had an older brother who could "talk" to him. Alas, neither is a possibility. I even have competing advice from two recently-published books: He's Just Not That Into You by two two writers from Sex and the City, and Kiss My Tiara by Susan Jane Gilman. HJNTIY (which I pronounce hijinty) says that if he isn't calling, he's not thinking about you and you shouldn't be thinking about him, either. Don't call him for any reason. Ms. Gilman sums her philosophy up pretty well: "An ounce of closure is worth a pound of pride." And oh, yes, I am a prideful person. I have been humiliated in my own eyes, and that is a neat trick if you can pull it off. So, why humiliate myself further? Because like the stereotypical female, I crave closure. I want to give him an earful. I want to hear what grade-A Cuban smoke he's going to try to blow up my ass this time. I guess since I have so much pride, I wouldn't miss a pound. Or several.

Quincy, a good friend of mine and a fellow artist, asked me last night why I was still bothering with this loser. Because I've known him for so long. Because he came from a very dark period of my life and a relationship with him might mean there was something salvageable from that period besides bitter experience. Because I haven't been in a relationship for nearly four years. Sad, hunh? I didn't go to grad school to meet men, and I certainly didn't. I don't go into bars by myself. My online dating experiences have been dismal to nonexistent. When I got out of my last relationship, I felt very liberated. I still like doing what I want to do when I want to do it, having a nap whenever I feel like, being able to leave the bathroom door open, but it would be nice to share the occasional meal with someone else. Among other things. So that's why I'm still spinning my wheels. And that's why I'm pissed.

For those of you who were hoping I was going to kick Target's ass in the near future, stay tuned. The next post will be all Target. Promise.

January. Oh, Yay.

Well, as most of you are aware, I was home for Christmas. I started in a less-than-sanguine mood because I had been stood up the day before I drove down, and it only went downhill when I realized I'd had just about enough of my sister halfway home from the airport with her. To me, she seemed to be saying "Be like me! Be like me!" I don't want to be like her, glamorous and exciting and fun as it may be. I want to be like me. Trying to justify myself to my mother is enough work without adding my sister to the equation. In talking to my therapist this week, I realized that my sister stirs up things inside me so primal that even I can't verbalize them. Enough! I enjoyed seeing the people I saw over my all-too-brief break, and regret not seeing those I missed.

Anyway, I had a delightful-if-sober New Year's, I went to the house of my friends after my shift at Kohl's (yup, they're open both on New Year's Eve and New Year's Day, for those of you who really have to get your shop on), and they fed me egg-and-creams and potato chips. Now, these egg-and-creams didn't have either eggs or cream, perhaps in deference to a guest who is vegan, but they did have chocolate syrup and seltzer water in them, and they were yummy. We also watched two movies that involved William Randolph Hearst, just in case you thought media monopolies were new. It was kind of funny in the first one, "The Cat's Meow," when I was just waiting for Jennifer Tilly, playing a young Louella Parsons, to say "And one time, at Band Camp...." Those of you who don't know what I'm talking about, I'll explain it sometime later...maybe.

So now it's back to the grind. The person who stood me up knows he owes me dinner. I woke up with a mild case of stomach flu this morning, but it has dissapated. I'm still working seven days a week, but my parents are now looking actively for a car for me, or at least, as actively as I can make them. My interview seemed to go well, but you can never be sure about such things. Anyway, I will try to post more often now that the holiday nuttiness is over; stay tuned for my letter to Target on how much money they could have made off me during the Commercial Season if they only respected womens' rights.