Why I Am A Liberal
Because I am a Conservative. I want carbon emissions and the rain forests to go back to where they were when I was a child. Or better yet, even further back than that.
Because I am a Libertarian. My body is mine. Don't make laws saying what I can and cannot do with it. Especially my reproductive system. I mean, all those middle-aged and old men in Congress thinking about my lady parts, ick.