Familial Relations, Minor Irritations, and Why I'm Not Seeing Silent Hill
Lately, I seem to be alternating between those two stereotypically male obsessions: sex and death. Last week, obviously, it was sex. While it is still early in this week, it doesn't look good for Eros. Maybe it's the cold sore forming on my lip. Maybe it's the fight I had with my sister yesterday when I was feeling rather vulnerable. Maybe it's the imperious and insulting patron I had to deal with today. Maybe it's all the reviews I've been reading for Silent Hill, a film that in trailers looked at once fascinating and repulsive.
Yeah, let's deal with Silent Hill first. It's the most harmless. It looks great from what I've seen. Since it seems to have zombies, Passaro will probably see it and Dilbert most likely took his wife this past weekend. That was one thing Dilbert and I could never agree on: he loved zombie movies and couldn't understand why I didn't want to share that with him. While I agreed on spec that the Living Dead movies were probably great satires and commentaries on their times, there was no way I was going to watch people's bodies being torn apart and their brains eaten. I have never liked gore. It's one of the reasons I didn't pursue a sideline in makeup, since most of the creative stuff is blood and guts and I have no desire to spend my days looking at them, even for pretend. Yeah, yeah, I'm a doctors' daughter, but I never had a taste for human flesh, living, dead, or undead. I digress: I think part of my point was that there have been rave reviews on the genre web sites for the gore in Silent Hill, so you can pretty much forget my seeing it on that count.
There's also the fact that I've never been big on horror movies in general. I have always had plenty to be afraid of, or so I've thought: failing in school, social rejection, poverty, losing my job, violent death, damnation, the usual. I didn't and don't feel the need to add to those, even for the space of a few hours in a controlled setting. Now, I like Greek (and Shakespearean, and Jacobean, and modern) tragedies for their sense of catharsis, even though I never feel the need to feel more depressed than the average reading of the paper will make me. But somehow, that's different for me, though I'm not sure why. Anyway, I don't like horror flicks, even the ones that are more psychological than messy or played for laughs. And Silent Hill is definitely a horror movie.
Also in the minus column, three words: video game movie.
All that said, I will probably see this movie sometime on DVD, in broad daylight, with someone else around to distract me. It just looks that interesting.
As far as the nascent cold sore I'm fomenting, it's disgusting, it's disfiguring, and it'll be gone soon and there's nothing much I can do about it anyway.
When it comes to nasty patrons I just need to convince them I'm not very bright or experienced, and then they're condescending but they become less vicious. Usually.
The fight with my sister is most disturbing, not least because I don't really like fighting with her. That said, I am completely fed up with her narcissism and cavelier attitude towards other people's feelings, namely mine. I am tired of being told to be like her and playing Tonto to her Lone Ranger. I used to think that was the best way to get along with her, and it was certainly the easiest. But it has gotten old. I was thinking of going out to California to visit her, or even somehow drop the bombshell that I'm sincerely sorry for the way I treated her when we were kids, but I can't deal with it now. Now, I just hope she follows through on her notion of going into therapy. It's hard work and not always much fun, as I can attest, but it would be all about her.
So did anything good happen recently? Yes. My mother came into town briefly and we spent a pleasant day together, including taking in a play. Mom gave me a wonderful present when she announced that she is not coming next weekend to stay with me, as she had announced she was going to do back in February, which really made my whole day right there. It means I don't have to give my apartment the scrubbing and bowdlerization that is attendant upon one of her visits. I have been reading a delightful book, Tipping the Velvet by Sarah Waters. I have been practicing a certain self-awareness in dealing with my mother and others. The blogs I read (see the side of this page) have been particularly good lately. I have been using self-restraint at work and with strangers. Life is good, I think, even if I don't always appreciate it.
Yeah, let's deal with Silent Hill first. It's the most harmless. It looks great from what I've seen. Since it seems to have zombies, Passaro will probably see it and Dilbert most likely took his wife this past weekend. That was one thing Dilbert and I could never agree on: he loved zombie movies and couldn't understand why I didn't want to share that with him. While I agreed on spec that the Living Dead movies were probably great satires and commentaries on their times, there was no way I was going to watch people's bodies being torn apart and their brains eaten. I have never liked gore. It's one of the reasons I didn't pursue a sideline in makeup, since most of the creative stuff is blood and guts and I have no desire to spend my days looking at them, even for pretend. Yeah, yeah, I'm a doctors' daughter, but I never had a taste for human flesh, living, dead, or undead. I digress: I think part of my point was that there have been rave reviews on the genre web sites for the gore in Silent Hill, so you can pretty much forget my seeing it on that count.
There's also the fact that I've never been big on horror movies in general. I have always had plenty to be afraid of, or so I've thought: failing in school, social rejection, poverty, losing my job, violent death, damnation, the usual. I didn't and don't feel the need to add to those, even for the space of a few hours in a controlled setting. Now, I like Greek (and Shakespearean, and Jacobean, and modern) tragedies for their sense of catharsis, even though I never feel the need to feel more depressed than the average reading of the paper will make me. But somehow, that's different for me, though I'm not sure why. Anyway, I don't like horror flicks, even the ones that are more psychological than messy or played for laughs. And Silent Hill is definitely a horror movie.
Also in the minus column, three words: video game movie.
All that said, I will probably see this movie sometime on DVD, in broad daylight, with someone else around to distract me. It just looks that interesting.
As far as the nascent cold sore I'm fomenting, it's disgusting, it's disfiguring, and it'll be gone soon and there's nothing much I can do about it anyway.
When it comes to nasty patrons I just need to convince them I'm not very bright or experienced, and then they're condescending but they become less vicious. Usually.
The fight with my sister is most disturbing, not least because I don't really like fighting with her. That said, I am completely fed up with her narcissism and cavelier attitude towards other people's feelings, namely mine. I am tired of being told to be like her and playing Tonto to her Lone Ranger. I used to think that was the best way to get along with her, and it was certainly the easiest. But it has gotten old. I was thinking of going out to California to visit her, or even somehow drop the bombshell that I'm sincerely sorry for the way I treated her when we were kids, but I can't deal with it now. Now, I just hope she follows through on her notion of going into therapy. It's hard work and not always much fun, as I can attest, but it would be all about her.
So did anything good happen recently? Yes. My mother came into town briefly and we spent a pleasant day together, including taking in a play. Mom gave me a wonderful present when she announced that she is not coming next weekend to stay with me, as she had announced she was going to do back in February, which really made my whole day right there. It means I don't have to give my apartment the scrubbing and bowdlerization that is attendant upon one of her visits. I have been reading a delightful book, Tipping the Velvet by Sarah Waters. I have been practicing a certain self-awareness in dealing with my mother and others. The blogs I read (see the side of this page) have been particularly good lately. I have been using self-restraint at work and with strangers. Life is good, I think, even if I don't always appreciate it.
posted by S. M. Frances at 11:16 PM
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